Bibble.

It seems like every couple was blissfully happy at one time. The 'you hang up first' /'no you hang up first'-type, or the 'kissing in the middle of the cereal aisle in the way of my Cap'n Crunch'-type. The 'content living on love, three kids and a fixed rate mortgage, we-aint-got-a-yard-so-we-don't-need-a-picket-fence'-type people.

And then life happens.

Some shit that knocks you off course. Big shit. Little shit. Just.... shit.

Could be something that, at first, you thought was cute and quirky. His sarcasm. Stubbornness. Her nurturing. Particularism. Until he belittles you under his breath with a witty comment while his friends listen on-- just for a laugh. Or the way she follows behind you, nagging about the damn toilet seat always being up and your damn dirty boxers on the bathroom floor for the third time that week.

I was the girl who used to dream of the 'cereal aisle' love. I never brought into the equation dirty boxers or witty comments-- not to mention all the other shit that can happen-- finances, kids, health issues: life. In my adult years I felt like I was bombarded with signs-- scratch that—neon blinking billboards with moving parts and sound-- living, breathing testimonies of why commitment-- and ultimately, marriage-- wasn't for me. After all, if you see others who have made a mistake and you have the chance to learn from it, aren't you more of a fool to follow in their footsteps?

So I had resolved in my mind and heart to swear off love.

Cuddling? Nah. I'd keep that.
Sex? That was a necessity.
But love? Love was for the birds.

Love cares, and care worries; I wanted a carefree, worry-free, easy going life.

I hurt a lot of people in the process, including you. And if you're reading this, I'm sorry.

Who knows? Maybe I'll get out on my own and a few months later I'll be ready for all this I've been trying to push away. Maybe you can come visit me and never leave. Maybe you'll be engaged and it'll be too late.

I guess its too late to change my mind.

I truly know now what you felt. But it's rude for me to take you away from something that seems to be working for you now, only because it doesn't work for me in the future.

“...But if we step past this transition there is so much we'll be missing in our lives such as 'you and I' so should we swallow this frustration and hope that this temptation will subside? Or should we just try....” -Eric Roberson